Gus shook his head. He could still see
himself and his mates when they were young boys, playing games of war. Never
again would war be a game, he thought. It was real now. Before this, it had
never seemed quite real. You could watch the protests on the TV, you could hear
about people setting their papers on fire and going to jail. It was not until
his number was the one pulled from the barrel that it hit him that all of it
wasn’t just a work of fiction constructed for entertainment. No. This stuff was
real. There was a war, and he was headed straight for it.
Once, back in his Granddad’s day, there
would’ve been a line out the door of young boys volunteering to go out to war.
To fight for their country and do their part for Australia .
In his Dad’s day, they made some go, but a great deal still put their own hands
up, his Dad included, having had the importance of doing his bit ingrained in
his mind. Not anymore. Now, they had the balls in the barrel and the birthday
lottery with no winners. Now, they’d make you go, whether you wanted to or not.
Gus remembered the war games played as a
child. He knew, staring up at the canvas ceiling of the tent he lay in, that
war would never be a game again. His grandfather and his father had both done
their part, now it was his turn to do his bit for Australia .
But unlike them, he wasn’t so sure he was so eager to go to war. Not that it
mattered. He didn’t have a choice anyway. But still. The fearful cries of his
mother when they’d pulled his number, his birthday from the barrel had him on
edge. That woman was never afraid of anything. She was the strongest person he
knew. So if it was enough to scare her into tears, then there must be something
to be concerned about.
“Gus!” The sound of his friend’s whisper
from the sleeping bag beside his own caused Gus to jump, and he gasped at the
unexpected break in silence. He rolled over on to his side to see his friend,
Ernie, was covering his mouth with a hand. Slowly, he let it fall away, before
speaking in a voice that was softer than before, if that was possible. “I’m
sorry! Did I wake you?”
“No,” said Gus, his voice equally quiet. “I
never went to sleep. Haven’t been able to.”
“Thinkin’ about tomorrow?” said Ernie. Gus
nodded. “Yeah, me too. But, some say this’ll be the last bit of piece we’ll get
for a while. We want to make the most of it. How’re we possibly gonna sleep in
a war zone? I wouldn’t be surprised if I went of sleep deprivation rather than
something to do with the war.” Ernie chuckled, but Gus remained silent.
“I’m sure we’ll find a way,” he said,
choosing to ignore Ernie’s last comment. “I just… I don’t know that I want to
go out there,” Gus said, more to himself than to Ernie, but he still heard.
“We don’t have a choice though mate. What’s
the point of dwelling on it?”
“I don’t know. Grandad and Dad were both
excited when they went off to war. I’m not. If I’m completely honest,” he said
slowly, “I’m scared.”
Ernie’s face softened. “People know more
about wars now, All your dad and his old man had to go off was the excitement
and push of everyone else. They had no clue what it actually meant to go to
war.”
“That’s the thing Ernie,” said Gus.
“They’ve been to war, yet they’re still telling me I should go, when they know
what it’s like. Why would they do that, once they’ve been exposed?”
Ernie shrugged. “You got me mate! I mean,
we probably weren’t. It was a whole different time when they went to war. Back
in their day, going to war was honourable. So, when they’ve had that instilled
in them their entire lives, and told what heroes they were for going out and
fighting, of course they’re going to drum it into us.”
Gus nodded. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.
I just… I don’t really want to go. Not after the look on Mum’s face when they
called me number.”
“I don’t really want to go either,” said
Ernie. “We’re just doing our bit. We’re doing what we’ve got to do. But
hopefully, this’ll be the last generation to go out and fight. Hopefully, our
sons won’t have to follow in our footsteps like we followed in our Father’s.”