Just Be

She had every reason to run and hide. Every reason to shy away. Every reason to give up. Yet, she stood strong and tall. Unapologetically and unashamedly her. Despite everyone's attempts to tear her down, she answered to no one. She just was. She was simply Laura, and proud of it.

Francis stood, open mouthed as he watched her do her thing. Smiling, laughing and just being her. As he looked around, he soon realised there was not one frown in the place. No, she'd managed to turn each and every one upside down. No wonder the place is packed, he thought. If only I could figure out what her secret is...

"Secret?" she repeated, blinking her long, bedazzled lashes at him. "What do you mean secret? I.. I just be. I'm me. That's it!"
Francis' mouth dropped open again. Laura's brows furrowed briefly before her face relaxed into that effortlessly mega-watt smile of hers. "Ah... What did you say your name was again?"
"Francis."
"Francis," she repeated, "In my time, I've learnt that people will judge you if they want to, and there's nothing you can do about it. So why bother trying to fit in? Especially if you're like me and were born to stand out." Francis couldn't help but laugh at the theatrical emphasis she put on those last few words. But really, where did that confidence come from? And how could he... and everyone for that matter, get a piece of it?

"Besides," Laura continued, "Trying to conform would only make you unhappy, right? So why bother if people will judge anyway?" She sunk onto a stool and took a breath before looking up at him. "So.. I guess if there's any secret, it's to just be. And to stay strong and proud and true. Which," she added at Francis' expression, lifting a finger in warning, "is a lot harder than it looks."
"I don't doubt it," said Francis with a laugh. "But how do you do it? Every single person in the place had a smile on their face."
At this, Laura's smile grew. "Well, joy breeds joy, does it not? I carry them away, and they soon forget what made them a little... uncertain of me. But, I've accepted myself, and accepted that this is who I am, and when you accept yourself, you accept others too."
"Ok..." said Francis, unsure of what that had to do with anything.
"When you judge someone, unless you're really good, it shows, and they pick up on it. I like to think they learn something new when they come to see me, and when you change your mind, you can change the world!"
"Do you think so?"
"Well, I don't know if you noticed, but there were a few guys in here tonight who looked like they'd rather be anywhere but here, watching me. By the end, you said everyone was smiling, right?"
Francis' eyes started to light up as understanding set in.

"I figure," said Laura, crossing one leg delicately over the other and leaning further toward him, "I can't do anything about them judging me, so why not kill 'em with love and kindness instead? I let love shine and pride be my guide."
"You pursue the truth," said Francis thoughtfully. "The truth of you, and just be you, no matter what anyone says."
Laura clapped her hands together. "Now you're getting it!" Francis' lips widened into a smile. A pretty big grin by his standards, but still one that paled in comparison to Laura's.

"Stop!" she said suddenly at the sight of his frown and furrowed brows.
"What?" asked Francis, his expression turning quizzical.
"You're not being true now, are you?" Francis didn't respond. All he could do was stare at her. "Don't try to deny it," she said. "I'ce done it too. A thousand times. Comparing myself. But you've got to stop. Because to just be is to accept yourself and to just be you, no matter what."
"You've started a long list here, Laura. Stay strong and proud and true, accept yourself, let love shine, pride be your guide, pursue the truth and just be."
Laura smiled, reaching across to squeeze his hand, smiling when he net her gaze. "That's the most important," she said, letting go of his hand. "Just be. Just be who you wanna be."

Goodbye

You never know what tomorrow will bring. One moment, everything is fine, and the next, the world has turned upside down. In an instant, everything can change. You were there one moment, and the next, everything was different. You were still there, but you weren't really. Your spirit had escaped you. But it gave us time. Time to hold your hand. Time to give you just one more hug. Time to say goodbye.

Goodbye. The hardest word in the world. You don't want to say it, but you know you need to. You know that it's time. But goodbye... it's so final. So... unfitting. It doesn't contain everything they are to you, everything you love, how much you love. It's just a word. But to say it feels like admitting the end, and who wants it to be the end? Who wants to say goodbye?

We all sit around, sharing stories, laughing about all the times we've shared. We look over and see you there and a smile appears across our lips as a tear falls down from our eyes. How we all want more than anything in the world... how we all wish that we could just go back. Back to when all of this seemed like a horrible nightmare that would never come to be. Back to when you were here. Really here. Laughing and joking and sharing stories with all of us. Back to when the end didn't seem so close. Back to when goodbye didn't seem so soon.

So we sit, we hold your hand and we tell you we love you. We tell you everything you've meant to us. We tell you everything we've ever wanted to tell you. We tell you about all the good times. Then we whisper in your ear, and we say that awful word. We give your hand one final squeeze as the last breath of air leaves your lungs. We close our eyes, wishing we could wake up. Then we look at you. We kiss your forehead and squeeze your hand again. We whisper one last 'I love you'. We gather every last ounce of courage we have and we get up to go. We pause at the door, looking back at you one last time. Then we leave you to rest in peace.

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For Rob. Loved always.

My Lighthouse

When the day darkens and gives way to night. When the storms roll in and the seas get rough. When I've lost my way. If I look hard enough, through the dark clouds, the waves and the sheets of rain falling overhead, I can see it. It shines through it all, a beacon of hope when all hope seems lost. A lighthouse. The lighthouse. My lighthouse. 

A tall pillar of strength when times are rough and I grow weak. I search for the light to guide me through the rough and stormy seas. Never once has it failed me. Whenever I've needed it, it's there, sure and reliable, to lead me back into calmer waters. 

When I feel weak, you are my lighthouse, strong enough for both of us, beaming your light to show me the way. When I feel lost and helpless, you are there to call me home, full of hope. When I feel cold and lonely, you are there, ready to take me into your warm embrace. Any feelings of loneliness melt away when I look up and see my lighthouse standing there. Never do I feel lonely, knowing that you are there, even if all I can see is your light to lead me home.

The Pirate & The Mermaid

First, I was all by myself. Just a lonely sea captain who's spent my life sailing the seven seas and exploring the world. The world had much to offer, yet I did not find much I truly loved. That was until the day I saw her. Till then, I hadn't had any reason to believe that her kind were anything but a legend. Nothing but a myth, they said. But she couldn't be a myth. There was no way. Not when she was sitting there, right in front of me.

Legend said their call was irresistibly alluring, their voice beautifully haunting. But she was neither singing nor calling out to me. Instead, she just sat there, high up on the rock, slowly, carefully combing her long, wavy dark her with a fork. Yet even though she hadn't noticed me, I had been enchanted by her nonetheless. Distracted enough by her beauty to crash my ship, albeit lightly, into a group of rocks nearby. At the loud crashing sound, she finally looked up a fraction, and it was then that I saw her dark, chocolate eyes, falling well and truly under her spell. Another minute passed before she finally saw me, at once looking back down again. I continued to stare at her, like a creep. I didn't want to scare her, but I just couldn't look away. I was too afraid that if I did, she'd be gone. Disappear, nowhere to be found. My breath caught in my throat as I saw her eyes rise, so she was gazing shyly at me from underneath her lashes.

"Hey, you there!" I called out. Embarrassed she looked away. "It's ok," I said, wincing at the desperation that had seeped through into my voice, "I won't hurt you. I promise. I only want to..." She jumped from the rock into the ocean. "Talk," I said hopelessly.

I inhaled deeply, the icy air burning my throat as I stepped toward the edge of my boat. In one swift motion, I climbed upon the rail of the boat, prepared to jump when she reappeared on the rock, combing her hair again, the only sign she'd moved at all the water droplets shining on her olive skin. This time, I squinted closer, noticing a pearl white flower tucked neatly behind one ear, bright and vivid against the backdrop of her jet black hair.  Not knowing how else I'll reach her, I breathe deep and take a lap down into the blue, watery depth below me.

I try to swim to her, but the current is too strong and I'm soon carried away. I gasp for breath as the waves begin to pull me underneath, into another world beneath the surface. Her world, I presume. Then, everything was still. I felt a warmth near my arm and looked over to see her floating effortlessly beside
me, a small smile on her face. I glanced down to confirm my suspicions, and sure enough there was her tail, beautiful and colourful, glistening in the light of the sun. She smiled at me again, leaning close to whisper sweet nothings into my ear. "It's alright," she said, her soft voice resembling the pretty tinkling of a bell. I jumped only because it was not what I expected her to say. "I've got you."
"You've got me," I said, my words mostly incoherent for the water gurgling into my mouth as I try to speak. "You're my angel," I said, the delirium  starting to set in  as I lost consciousness.
"Ssh," she said, her voice soothing, like the hushed voice of a mother, soothing her baby to sleep. "Don't try to speak. I'll get you home."
Yes, I thought, please, take me home with you.
"Ssh, my sweet sailor. It's alright. Your safe now."
"I'm a captain," I tried to say.
"Oh," she said wistfully, her voice, unlike mine, not incoherent at all. "I've always wanted to meet a sailor. I've met many in my time, but none like you. You are one of a kind, my Darling." At that moment, I wanted to melt into her arms as a warm tingling spread throughout my body, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Captain," she asked, when we were back above the surface, both of us seated on her rock. Her eyes never once left mine, and I couldn't look away. But I didn't care.
"Jackie," I said softly, half in a daze, "call me Jackie."
"Jackie," she said, and I shivered at the beauty of my name coming from her mouth. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
"I don't know. I've never been in love before."
"Only that we've known each other barely a day, yet, I think I love you."
"Really?" I asked, blinking, not believing the words I was hearing.
"Yes," she said, equally wistful. Her soft, smooth finger hooked itself beneath my chin and pulled me closer. I closed my eyes as she guided my lips toward hers and pressed them gently together, just as the sun took it's final peep out over the ocean for the day.

Living In A Rainbow

From my post, high up here, I can see the world. Lush green, grassy hills that stretch on for ages, and the ocean far beyond that, a bright, yet deep blue that sparkles magically as the light hits it. Above me, there are clouds, a soft, calm, smokey grey spread across an endless expanse of breathtaking cornflower blue.

Where I sit, way up high, there's quite a chill in the air. But not that awful winter chill that is so cold it hurts when you touch something. No. This chill is like the cool breeze on a warm summer's day. One that, when you've been out in the heat of the day, is overwhelmingly pleasant to experience. Yet, the cool air still sends shivers down my spine.

The colours surrounding me are so vividly beautiful. So bright they're almost blinding. The blue of the sky above and the sea below. The green of the grass, the hills and the trees. The dazzling yellow of the sun. The vibrant red of a bird flying by. The flowers, a deep shade of bright indigo, that from this great height, look like tiny little speckles of colour. The striking orange of a fire, blazing strong in a forest clearing.

This is my life, in the cool, refreshing bubble that is my perch high above the world, surrounded by a splendid array of vibrant colours. Yes, this is my life, and a lucky one at that. My life. Living in a rainbow.