Fiery, intimidating, confronting. Those may be some of the words one may use to describe him. Yet, while he seemed quite strong in character on the exterior, that's just his surface. There's something more there, if one were to take the time to delve deeper.
Truth be told, the tough, intimidating young man, behind closed doors, was really quite scarred. Having always been told "you're a fighter", he embraced this perceived persona following a time of great hurt and pain and slowly developed a tough, exterior shell, the intimidating, fiery, confronting man the outside world sees.
The cool breeze swirling around him as he goes about life, created by his purposeful energy reminds him of that awful night when the whole world felt like it had frozen over and it gets him fired up all over again and he moves on once more, repeating the cycle again.
Secretly, he hopes that someone will be able to make him pause and cool off, yet, any attempts at approach only seem to result in fear overtaking and he runs, petrified of getting hurt. He longs for someone patient. Someone who will persist long enough for him to give them a chance. Someone to help him learn to believe that not everyone in the world is bad.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Last Friday Night
She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face as she read her own name on one of the letters she pulled from the mailbox. "That's sweet," she said to herself, setting it aside a moment while she quickly shuffled through the rest before putting her letter back on the top of the pile and wandering back inside, "no one ever writes letters anymore.."
Setting the other letters, none of which were for her, on the counter as she walked passed, she headed outside and slid easily into her egg chair, letter clutched tight in both hands. Finally, she teared it open and tucked the envelope into the cushion on which she sat, carefully unfolding her letter.
Dear Abbey, it started and she could help but giggle a little as she read her name.
I just wanted to write and thank you so much for last Friday night! I had such a great time and I don't think it would have been nearly as special without you there. I remember you mentioned how much you love old fashioned things like letters and so thought I'd surprise you. Surprise!
I remember, we danced on table tops, definitely took too many shots. Think we kissed, but I forgot? Do you remember more than I do? Half of it's a blacked out blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled. Still trying to connect the dots... But anyway, I was planning on keeping it short & sweet, so I'll just say this; this Friday night, do it all again?
Randy
"Who are you?" Abbey asked under her breath as she rose from the egg chair. "Remember more than you do? I don't remember anything!" So lost in her thoughts, Abbey jumped as her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at it. From: Randy- did you get my letter? Tomorrow's TGIF!!! As she read the text, Abbey raised a brow. O-k....
As she made her way back inside, she shook her head as she thought of her parents. "I'm screwed," she thought, "oh well." she shrugged and typed a response to Randy on her phone. yeah, let's do it all again. TGIF (tomorrow)!!
"Nothing to lose," she whispered to herself as she hit send.
Setting the other letters, none of which were for her, on the counter as she walked passed, she headed outside and slid easily into her egg chair, letter clutched tight in both hands. Finally, she teared it open and tucked the envelope into the cushion on which she sat, carefully unfolding her letter.
Dear Abbey, it started and she could help but giggle a little as she read her name.
I just wanted to write and thank you so much for last Friday night! I had such a great time and I don't think it would have been nearly as special without you there. I remember you mentioned how much you love old fashioned things like letters and so thought I'd surprise you. Surprise!
I remember, we danced on table tops, definitely took too many shots. Think we kissed, but I forgot? Do you remember more than I do? Half of it's a blacked out blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled. Still trying to connect the dots... But anyway, I was planning on keeping it short & sweet, so I'll just say this; this Friday night, do it all again?
Randy
"Who are you?" Abbey asked under her breath as she rose from the egg chair. "Remember more than you do? I don't remember anything!" So lost in her thoughts, Abbey jumped as her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at it. From: Randy- did you get my letter? Tomorrow's TGIF!!! As she read the text, Abbey raised a brow. O-k....
As she made her way back inside, she shook her head as she thought of her parents. "I'm screwed," she thought, "oh well." she shrugged and typed a response to Randy on her phone. yeah, let's do it all again. TGIF (tomorrow)!!
"Nothing to lose," she whispered to herself as she hit send.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
That Voice
"Go on!" They say, nudging me and smiling as I turn to look at them. To their credit, they are trying to be encouraging. "You know you want to Zoe!"
"You'll regret it if you don't!" For a moment, I stand with my eyes closed, silent and motionless. Then, before I can change my mind, I begin to walk through the crowd to increasing cheers from this around me. I take one look behind me and immediately spot the guys I work with, huge grins on their faces and each of them have two thumbs up. As I continue up toward the stage, I frown for a split second. Someone is missing...
I have not seen the full extent of the crowd yet. Slowly, I walk onto the stage and take the microphone, looking at the ground all the while. I take a breath before looking up and gently shutting my eyes again. I don't need the teleprompter thing. I've listened to this song so many times I've lost count and I'm confident that I know it off by heart. So, as the music starts and I open my mouth, my eyes remain firmly shut.
Up until now, the crowd before me has been completely silent. That is until I reach around the midpoint of the song, when another voice joins mine. Without giving myself a moment to doubt what I'm about to do, I open my eyes. As the two of us sing, my eyes wander the room, searching for the face belonging to the voice. That heavenly voice, singing in perfect harmony with mine. But the faces I see all seem to blur together, yet the voice is getting louder. Mystery person, mystery girl is getting closer.
Finally, it seems a spotlight is switched on as I lay eyes on the person belonging to that beautiful voice. Luckily, the song reaches an instrumental interlude as I get a clear view of the girl I've been singing with because for at least a minute, all I seem capable of doing is staring at her ad she moves through the crowd, coming closer still.
At last, she reaches the stage and takes the last few steps toward me as gracefully as ever. She seems to move effortlessly, as I can faintly remember her doing when we knew each other what now seems a lifetime ago. She reaches my side just in time to start the final verse of the song and together, we sing in perfect harmony, right up until the last, lingering note ends.
"I never thought I'd see you again," I say in a whisper as we leave the stage, arm in arm to a long, loud round of applause from the surrounding crowd.
"Come with me," she says, taking gentle hold of my wrist and leading me away through the crowd. She doesn't speak again until we are outside, alone. "Things aren't the same here, they're different, and there's something you need to know, Zoe."
"What?" I ask in a whisper so hushed even I only just hear it.
"I love you," she says and a wide smile stretches across my lips as a warm gust of wind envelops me, seemingly keen to join in my joy as she steps closer.
"I love you, too," I say in the same soft whisper just as she presses her lips to mine.
"You'll regret it if you don't!" For a moment, I stand with my eyes closed, silent and motionless. Then, before I can change my mind, I begin to walk through the crowd to increasing cheers from this around me. I take one look behind me and immediately spot the guys I work with, huge grins on their faces and each of them have two thumbs up. As I continue up toward the stage, I frown for a split second. Someone is missing...
I have not seen the full extent of the crowd yet. Slowly, I walk onto the stage and take the microphone, looking at the ground all the while. I take a breath before looking up and gently shutting my eyes again. I don't need the teleprompter thing. I've listened to this song so many times I've lost count and I'm confident that I know it off by heart. So, as the music starts and I open my mouth, my eyes remain firmly shut.
Up until now, the crowd before me has been completely silent. That is until I reach around the midpoint of the song, when another voice joins mine. Without giving myself a moment to doubt what I'm about to do, I open my eyes. As the two of us sing, my eyes wander the room, searching for the face belonging to the voice. That heavenly voice, singing in perfect harmony with mine. But the faces I see all seem to blur together, yet the voice is getting louder. Mystery person, mystery girl is getting closer.
Finally, it seems a spotlight is switched on as I lay eyes on the person belonging to that beautiful voice. Luckily, the song reaches an instrumental interlude as I get a clear view of the girl I've been singing with because for at least a minute, all I seem capable of doing is staring at her ad she moves through the crowd, coming closer still.
At last, she reaches the stage and takes the last few steps toward me as gracefully as ever. She seems to move effortlessly, as I can faintly remember her doing when we knew each other what now seems a lifetime ago. She reaches my side just in time to start the final verse of the song and together, we sing in perfect harmony, right up until the last, lingering note ends.
"I never thought I'd see you again," I say in a whisper as we leave the stage, arm in arm to a long, loud round of applause from the surrounding crowd.
"Come with me," she says, taking gentle hold of my wrist and leading me away through the crowd. She doesn't speak again until we are outside, alone. "Things aren't the same here, they're different, and there's something you need to know, Zoe."
"What?" I ask in a whisper so hushed even I only just hear it.
"I love you," she says and a wide smile stretches across my lips as a warm gust of wind envelops me, seemingly keen to join in my joy as she steps closer.
"I love you, too," I say in the same soft whisper just as she presses her lips to mine.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
California Gurls
Shelley stood with her arms folded, her slightly intimidating gaze making the young girl quiver a little. "Are you from California?" As Shelley spoke, an identical looking girl appeared beside her, adopting the same stance as her sister as her gaze came to rest on the young girl, who started to shake under the scrutiny of an extra onlooker.
"Well?" Shelley asked after a while, beginning to tap her foot with impatience. The young girl shook her head, turned and hurried away.
So far, the 'California Gurls' as Shelley liked to call them had two members, Shelley and her twin sister Skye. It could have been attributed to the fact that this very exclusive 'club' of sorts had very strict entry criterion- you had to come from California to join. Or, perhaps it could be that Shelley and her sister may have been just a little fussy about who they allowed to join them. "It's just you and me, against the world," Shelley had often told her sister, and so far, that's exactly the way it had panned out.
As they'd done every other lunch break, Shelley and Skye lay sun baking on top of a low garden wall. Or that's what it seemed. Truth be told, it was from this fortunate vantage point that the girls had the perfect view, through a few shrubs and greenery, of a group of boys who were considered to be the most popular in the school.
Little did they know, one guy lurking in the shadows behind the more 'popular' boys was watching them too. 'That is one pair of nice looking girls,' he thought to himself as he paced. 'Oh come on Ray!' He paused, running his hands quickly through his hair, over and over, his eyes locked on the pair of them, lying on their sides looking through the trees at the boys in front of him.Not that he could tell which girl was which of course (who could except the girls themselves), but Ray had to admit, he'd developed a bit of a crush.
One day, he followed someone intending to seek entry into the sunbathing girls' posse, sticking to the shadows so as not to be seen. He watched as the girl attempted to ask to join and was appaled at how quick the twins seemed to be to draw them away. He watched the same pattern repeat itself over again for a few days before deciding to conduct a little experiment.
It took all Ray had not to show his nerves as he finally emerged from the shadows. "Do you think I could hang with you guys?" he asked when one approached him. The girl, who seemed slightly taller than the one who hadn't yet come over looked him up and down, thoroughly and he felt quite self conscious, as if she had x-ray vision or something that could reveal all his secrets just from a look. "Do you come from California?" she asked finally, meeting his eyes, arms folded across her chest. By this time, her sister stood at her side and back a bit and was in the process of giving him a quick once-over for herself as they awaited his answer.
"You could say that," he said, looking at his shoe a moment.
"Well, we're the California Gurls, and you're not exactly a girl, so..." The first girl stopped as her sister touched her arm.
"Hey," she said quietly, so Ray could only just hear. "He is pretty cute." The first girl glanced at him again a moment before turning her attention back to her sister.
"I don't know.."
"I say we give him a chance," said her sister, "He looks cool. We could be the California Gurls, plus..." she looked at him expectantly.
"Ray," he said quickly.
"The California Gurls plus Ray," she finished, "soumds cool enough, don't you think?"
"Skye, we were gonna show those mean ones what they did to us. Give them a taste of their own medicine!" said the first girl persistantly.
"May I say something?" Ray asked hesitantly and the girls turned to look at him. He said nothing for a moment, a little stunned they were giving him a chance. "There are other ways to show people. To... to get revenge."
"Thank you!" said Skye happily. "See Shelley?"
"Like what?" Shelley asked, eyes locked on him.
"Well, my grandmother always taught me to treat others how you'd like to be treated, and I gather you didn't exactly like being excluded?"
Shelley shook her head.
"But isn't that what you're doing now?" he asked, gulping down the nerves threatening to show themselves.
Shelley bowed her head and nodded shamefully. A moment of silence passed before she looked at him again. "It all sounded so good in theory!" she said as she and Skye led Ray into the little space they'd claimed for their own. "I had this little daydreams. The boys break their necks, tryna' creep a little sneak peek at us. We'd be the California Gurls. Unforgettable."
"We still can be," Skye said brightly, looking at Ray. "We've got a pretty cool guy right here. I mean, how are we going to look, with him on our arm?" She took a breath. "Ray was right, Shell. There are other ways of getting revenge, so let's go show 'em!"
"Well?" Shelley asked after a while, beginning to tap her foot with impatience. The young girl shook her head, turned and hurried away.
So far, the 'California Gurls' as Shelley liked to call them had two members, Shelley and her twin sister Skye. It could have been attributed to the fact that this very exclusive 'club' of sorts had very strict entry criterion- you had to come from California to join. Or, perhaps it could be that Shelley and her sister may have been just a little fussy about who they allowed to join them. "It's just you and me, against the world," Shelley had often told her sister, and so far, that's exactly the way it had panned out.
As they'd done every other lunch break, Shelley and Skye lay sun baking on top of a low garden wall. Or that's what it seemed. Truth be told, it was from this fortunate vantage point that the girls had the perfect view, through a few shrubs and greenery, of a group of boys who were considered to be the most popular in the school.
Little did they know, one guy lurking in the shadows behind the more 'popular' boys was watching them too. 'That is one pair of nice looking girls,' he thought to himself as he paced. 'Oh come on Ray!' He paused, running his hands quickly through his hair, over and over, his eyes locked on the pair of them, lying on their sides looking through the trees at the boys in front of him.Not that he could tell which girl was which of course (who could except the girls themselves), but Ray had to admit, he'd developed a bit of a crush.
One day, he followed someone intending to seek entry into the sunbathing girls' posse, sticking to the shadows so as not to be seen. He watched as the girl attempted to ask to join and was appaled at how quick the twins seemed to be to draw them away. He watched the same pattern repeat itself over again for a few days before deciding to conduct a little experiment.
It took all Ray had not to show his nerves as he finally emerged from the shadows. "Do you think I could hang with you guys?" he asked when one approached him. The girl, who seemed slightly taller than the one who hadn't yet come over looked him up and down, thoroughly and he felt quite self conscious, as if she had x-ray vision or something that could reveal all his secrets just from a look. "Do you come from California?" she asked finally, meeting his eyes, arms folded across her chest. By this time, her sister stood at her side and back a bit and was in the process of giving him a quick once-over for herself as they awaited his answer.
"You could say that," he said, looking at his shoe a moment.
"Well, we're the California Gurls, and you're not exactly a girl, so..." The first girl stopped as her sister touched her arm.
"Hey," she said quietly, so Ray could only just hear. "He is pretty cute." The first girl glanced at him again a moment before turning her attention back to her sister.
"I don't know.."
"I say we give him a chance," said her sister, "He looks cool. We could be the California Gurls, plus..." she looked at him expectantly.
"Ray," he said quickly.
"The California Gurls plus Ray," she finished, "soumds cool enough, don't you think?"
"Skye, we were gonna show those mean ones what they did to us. Give them a taste of their own medicine!" said the first girl persistantly.
"May I say something?" Ray asked hesitantly and the girls turned to look at him. He said nothing for a moment, a little stunned they were giving him a chance. "There are other ways to show people. To... to get revenge."
"Thank you!" said Skye happily. "See Shelley?"
"Like what?" Shelley asked, eyes locked on him.
"Well, my grandmother always taught me to treat others how you'd like to be treated, and I gather you didn't exactly like being excluded?"
Shelley shook her head.
"But isn't that what you're doing now?" he asked, gulping down the nerves threatening to show themselves.
Shelley bowed her head and nodded shamefully. A moment of silence passed before she looked at him again. "It all sounded so good in theory!" she said as she and Skye led Ray into the little space they'd claimed for their own. "I had this little daydreams. The boys break their necks, tryna' creep a little sneak peek at us. We'd be the California Gurls. Unforgettable."
"We still can be," Skye said brightly, looking at Ray. "We've got a pretty cool guy right here. I mean, how are we going to look, with him on our arm?" She took a breath. "Ray was right, Shell. There are other ways of getting revenge, so let's go show 'em!"
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Shivers Despite The Warmth
It may not have seemed all that obvious to the world outside, but I could feel myself trembling as if the walls around me were made of ice. But, in actual fact, the temperature was quite comfortable. Yet, I still tremoured uncontrollably. Have you ever heard the phrase 'shaking like a leaf'? Well, that was me. Why? Well, my friends, there's this little thing. A little emotion driven by adrenaline. For some, it's signalled by a racing hurt, some people's breathing quickens or slows while others talk really fast or can't get even a word to pass their lips. But for me, I shake. And I shake a lot. And right there and then, I was in a cold environment with not enough layers on and I was experiencing a little hypothermia. At least, that's would it would appear to anyone looking in.
But, all my shaking had nothing to do with the temperature. Not that that mattered. We were inside, where the temperature was controlled. So why, I can hear you ask, and I imagine you're getting quite agitated. All this suspense is killing you, right? Well, here it is; I was shaking not because of the temperature but because of that small emotion some know as anxiety, others as fear. But in this situation, I think it would best be described as nerves. Perhaps a severe case of nerves, but nerves all the same.
So there I was, shaking all of the leaves off of a tree as I tried to psyche myself up. Today is the day I confront my fear. I never like to say negative things about others or admit weaknesses for fear people will think I'm being difficult. But today, that's exactly what I have to do, and so I sit here, and shake.
"So," she says, a bright, warm smile on her face. "What brings you here today?" I offer a weak smile in return and take a moment before speaking. "Well," I began, and from there, it all just flowed. It all came flooding out, and though I still shook, the severity of my tremouring seemed to have lessened considerably. The whole time, I watched her and she was nodding her agreement. When it was finally all out, I felt a heavy breath escape my lips.
"It feels good, doesn't it?" She asked, the brightness of her tone matching her mega-watt smile. I said nothing, simply taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of that heavy weight having been lifted from my shoulders as she speaks again. "I'm very glad you came to me. Because we can do something about it now. So thank you for coming to me. It was very brave of you because I could see that it was really getting to you."
"Thank you," was all I could think to say, and even then it came out a little breathless.
The smile finally erupted on my lips when the fresh air hit me in a strong gust of wind as I stepped outside and I could feel the elated spring in my step that had replaced the earlier shakes. I couldn't help but pause to spin in a happy little circle on the path. Even though in reality I had only taken the first step, it felt as if the battle was over. I had someone on my side!
All the fear, anxiety and worry from earlier has gone completely. I don't seem able to put a name on the feeling which replaces it. There's immense relief. But that's only part. This feeling swirling round within me making me smile uncontrollably is amazingly incredibly wonderful, and I feel on top of the world at the prospect of light at the end of the tunnel. At the knowledge that there is a little hope ahead.
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I know it's hard but if there is a tough situation that you want changed, I encourage you to seek someone you trust and ask for their support in taking steps to resolve the problem. Because even the feeling of getting the ball rolling is simply unbeatable!
But, all my shaking had nothing to do with the temperature. Not that that mattered. We were inside, where the temperature was controlled. So why, I can hear you ask, and I imagine you're getting quite agitated. All this suspense is killing you, right? Well, here it is; I was shaking not because of the temperature but because of that small emotion some know as anxiety, others as fear. But in this situation, I think it would best be described as nerves. Perhaps a severe case of nerves, but nerves all the same.
So there I was, shaking all of the leaves off of a tree as I tried to psyche myself up. Today is the day I confront my fear. I never like to say negative things about others or admit weaknesses for fear people will think I'm being difficult. But today, that's exactly what I have to do, and so I sit here, and shake.
"So," she says, a bright, warm smile on her face. "What brings you here today?" I offer a weak smile in return and take a moment before speaking. "Well," I began, and from there, it all just flowed. It all came flooding out, and though I still shook, the severity of my tremouring seemed to have lessened considerably. The whole time, I watched her and she was nodding her agreement. When it was finally all out, I felt a heavy breath escape my lips.
"It feels good, doesn't it?" She asked, the brightness of her tone matching her mega-watt smile. I said nothing, simply taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of that heavy weight having been lifted from my shoulders as she speaks again. "I'm very glad you came to me. Because we can do something about it now. So thank you for coming to me. It was very brave of you because I could see that it was really getting to you."
"Thank you," was all I could think to say, and even then it came out a little breathless.
The smile finally erupted on my lips when the fresh air hit me in a strong gust of wind as I stepped outside and I could feel the elated spring in my step that had replaced the earlier shakes. I couldn't help but pause to spin in a happy little circle on the path. Even though in reality I had only taken the first step, it felt as if the battle was over. I had someone on my side!
All the fear, anxiety and worry from earlier has gone completely. I don't seem able to put a name on the feeling which replaces it. There's immense relief. But that's only part. This feeling swirling round within me making me smile uncontrollably is amazingly incredibly wonderful, and I feel on top of the world at the prospect of light at the end of the tunnel. At the knowledge that there is a little hope ahead.
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I know it's hard but if there is a tough situation that you want changed, I encourage you to seek someone you trust and ask for their support in taking steps to resolve the problem. Because even the feeling of getting the ball rolling is simply unbeatable!
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