That Quiet Whisper

He spied her across the room and gave her a once over. His eyes lingered on every detail about her. Her long, caramel coloured hair that cascaded down her shoulders in luscious waves. Her eyes, pools of emerald green glittering beneath long, dark lashes.

Just as he spied her, she spied him. She snuck glances in secret, a little scared, not prepared for actual interaction. His dark hair was combed neatly to one side, creating the illusion of a slightly rounded fringe. His sparkling blue eyes bewitched her in a way she'd never been before.

Before she knew it, he was by her side. They chatted away like old friends, despite the fact they'd never laid eyes on one another before that night. There was smiles and laughter. In a cartoon, there would possibly even have been a few sparks too. At the end of the night, they exchanged phone numbers.

She went home and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She studied each and every inch of herself as she worked down. She arched an eyebrow as she widened her focus to see her whole self, not just the different parts, and wondered why. Why had he gone for her? Of all people? There were loads of other girls there.
But why wouldn't he? So quiet, she almost couldn't hear, was a voice to challenge her endless torrent of critiques. And then, her phone dinged with a message.
Hi Shae, I really enjoyed talking with you last night. I'd love to see you again.
That was all it took for the butterflies within to be released to fly around inside. At the same time, there was a tiny little thrill, an excited buzzing that coursed through her filling her with glee.

So she saw him again. There was just as much conversation, smiling and laughter as the time before. Until the truth arose and he ran for the hills. Just like everyone always did. "Why do I even bother?" she asked out loud as she watched him go.
Because, said that tiny whisper, You need to have hope. Hope is important. Hope helps you to keep going and looking. He's out there somewhere
"Who says I've got anyone? Why would I? He could have any girl he wanted. Someone that's not so different. Someone who's not a creep. Why would anyone want a creep?"


It took years for Shae to even start to be ok with herself after so much time feeling like a creep. With so much time of that tiny whisper being so hushed. But eventually, she came to a place where that tiny, quiet little whisper became a little louder, it's message strengthened as she finally started to believe what it was trying to tell her. And with it, the power of the demons that plagued her thoughts was lessened.

Shae had changed. And so had that tiny whisper. Instead of preaching hope, it told her that she was enough. It told her that she didn't need abybody else. Maybe someday, someone else would come. But if that day never arrived, she was enough. Just as she was.

Shae was still a long way from believing what the voice told her, but she listened to it now. It was made stronger by being heard. And she was made stronger by the message it imparted. You are enough. Just as you are.

She Lived

She breezed by, brightening everything and everyone she passed on her way through. Her energy was one unrivaled by anyone. She wasn't just the life of the party. She was the party. She breathed life into people who had forgotten how to live. Places left for dead were brought to life again. She took their hands, lifted them up and guided them with gentle grace. She lived.

She was a bright spark of life. A breath of fresh air. A ray of light to illuminate the darkness. She was a friend to everyone she met. Everyone she met was enchanted by her kindness, her humour and how outgoing she was. She put a stamp on those whose lives she touched. She made her make. She made an impact on the world. She lived.

And now, in the blink of an eye, her light had been snuffed out. With a click of the fingers, she was gone. No one could believe it. How could? A lovely woman so young and full of life as she. How could it be her time to go? Nobody knew. Because there was no good answer. Simply, it wasn't her time. But she'd still gone. The only explanation was that life wasn't fair. But, if it was any consolation, she'd squeezed every little drop of life she possibly could have. She lived.

Even now, when she was gone, there was still life left behind. More life than there had been before she'd come along. She'd made her mark. She'd left behind her a legacy filled to the brim with life. The lives of others being lived to the fullest, reignited by her reminders. She lived. And because of her, others lived too. 
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For Jenn. Gone too soon.

Illuminated

She stood before in the dark, her reflection gazing back at her from the mirror before her. Everything about her, and her world, was a dull, drizzly monochrome. She'd become used to it, and developed the ability to distinguish herself apart from her surroundings. Her world had always been this way though. She'd thought it always would be.

She was pulled from studying herself by a bright glimmer over her reflection's shoulder. The brightest sight she'd ever seen. Outside, it was raining. But this rain was unusual. This rain was rainbow. She gasped as she turned around for a better look out the window. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. It was so bright. And beautiful. It brought with it a light that illuminated her world in a way it had never been illuminated before. Not only did it illuminate her world, but also the fact that she was the brightest thing in the world.


She turned back to the mirror, seeing herself a new. The colour of her hair, her clothes. Colour in general. "Is that really me?" she asked in a whisper. She leaned in closer to the mirror, her face now mere inches from her reflection. She tapped the mirror, her reflection doing the same. She blinked. Again, her reflection followed suit. And the woman she was seeing, like she'd never seen her before, was still there. "It's really me." She was breathless, gasping for air as she just stared at herself in a mixture of pure shock and awe. "This is really me."

She looked at the world around her. She stuck out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of the monochrome world she'd lived in for so long. Even as the grey started to melt away, as if the rain from outside had washed it away, she was still the brightest thing in the room. She always had been. She just hadn't known it yet. Little did she know, she always would be.

Advice From a Teen Idol

Chris Montgomery had the world at his feet. A world of young women that is. Wherever he went, Ben was followed by a torrent of young teenage girls. His fans male counterparts tried their best to steer clear, plagued by a mixture of jealousy and intimidation.

He sighed as he peered around the door to see the crowd of eager youngsters, practically jumping up and down just with the anticipation of the possibility of catching a mere glimpse of him. He squinted, scanning the crowd once more before looking over them to a bored looking young guy leaning against the brick wall. Chris raised an eyebrow. The young boy looked exactly how he felt. Bored, tired and slightly annoyed, all at once.

Chris turned to one of his security guards. "See that young guy?" he asked. The guard looked over Ben's shoulder, following his gaze to the bored teenager, and nodded. "I'd like to meet him." Immediately, the guard slipped out, heading toward the boy Chris had pointed out.

Chris watched with baited breath as his guard approached. No hope of hearing a single world over the gneral buzz of the teenage girls, he squinted further, testing out whether or not he could lip read. He couldn't. But, he got his answer anyway when the guard turned around, and the young boy followed.

"This is going to sound really odd, but what are you doing here?" Chris asked after introducing himself. "You seem really bored out here, and your're not hyped up like so many of the others."
"I always hang here," said the teenager, Ben. "You just had to come and bring a whole crowd with you."
Chris raised an eyebrow. "Well I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience."
"What are you doing hiding back here anyway?" Ben asked. "You realise that if you just went out, it'd be over. All you've got to do is rush through the crowd to your limo." The words sounded like acid dripping from the boy's tongue.Toxicity in auditory form.
"Easy for you to say."
Ben shrugged. "The longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get. Just rip it off like a band aid I say."
Chris raised an eyebrow. Never in his life did he think he'd be getting advice from someone younger than him. His eyebrows scrunched together as he studied him more closely. Was he younger? He'd thought so?
"Look man," Ben took off his cap and shook out his hair.
Chris gasped involuntarily. How had he missed this? How had he not known? "Ben Anders," he breathed.
Ben nodded. "Yeah. See, I get it."
Chris was in shock. Back in his day, Ben Anders had been just as much of a household name among young teenage girls as Chris was then. And he didn't seem to have aged much at all. "Imagine all the mothers if you and I went out there together," he said, chuckling.
"We'd have all the girls going crazy then," Ben quipped.
Chris shook his head as he considered the reality of it. "No. I couldn't. I can hardly stand the thought of going out there now, let alone if everyone was all over us."
"Don't let the fear stop you," said Ben, clapping him gently on the shoulder. "I remember being your age. One day, they'll forget and you can just go back to doing what you do best. But this is how it is at the beginning."
"So how did you get through it?"
"I said, 'I want to do something with my life'. When my time here is up, I don't want to look back and see that I didn't do anything." As he spoke, Chris was nodding attentaively. Ben had him in the palm of his hand. "I see a lot of people that let their lives happen to them. I want to happen to my life."

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In memory of Luke Perry. I knew him best as Fred Andrews in Riverdale.. R.I.P.