Slowly, she looked up, brushing the hair from her eyes to see her friend's smiling face looking back at her. "Hey now," she said gently. "Don't give him the satisfaction."
"What?" She said quietly.
"Don't cry over him Tonya," her friend said. "He's not worth your tears.
"No," said Tonya, standing up and brushing a stray hair from her face. "You're right. What am I supposed to do? I have to... I have to get back at him..."
"No," still her friend's voice was calm. "That would be stooping down to his level. Do you really want to do that? Because you and I both know that you're better than that."
"I am," said Tonya, squeezing her friend's hand. "You are so smart!"
Her friend laughed. "Thank you," she said, "but it's just me. It's just how I think."
"So what do I do then?" Tonya asked. "There are other ways to get revenge," said her friend, giving her a sidelong wink. "Other, indirect ways. All you've got to do is show him how good you are."
"Yes," said Tonya, "go out, live life and have fun doing it!"
"That's the spirit!"
"It wasn't just him though," said her friend, her tone a touch more serious than before. "You've got to remember that. He may have been the one who hurt you the most, but it takes two to tango."
"I can't keep ignoring it," said Tonya, "can't keep ignoring her. So how do I show her?"
"Her?" Said her friend, "the best thing to do is just forget her. Because, though it takes two to tango, he's the one who made that choice."
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Portrait Of An Apology
At the expression on her face, though to most very non- worrisome, one young boy 's facial features scrunched up closer together in response. He squeezed his eyes shut firmly, too quick to see the brief potentially negative expression on his mother's face had evaporated into a smile, before he turned and wandered wordlessly away.
She stood looking after her son, seemingly frozen in place with her mouth slightly agape. "J..." was the last sound to escape her lips before he had gone from hearing distance. She always tried, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that once he had an idea in his head, her son was set. He could be a very driven little boy when he wanted to be, and when he set his mind to something, it sometimes seemed his sole focus right up until the task's completion.
Sure enough, as she had come to expect, her son returned to her hours later, his hands clasped behind his back, a sorrow filled, regretful expression filling his small features. "Mummy," he said in a whisper. "I'm sorry if I made you sad."
"Jessie," she said, her soft tone matching his to an extent. "It's ok Sweetie. You don 't have to apologise for every little mistake you make. Especially not with me. Just keep them in mind so you don't make the same mistakes next time."
Solemnly, her little boy nodded, his expression turning serious as his eyes remained fixed on hers.
"Yes Mummy," he said, holding a piece of paper out toward her. "I made you this, to say sorry." As soon as she took the paper from him, his hands were once again behind his back as he turned and walked away, presumably back to his room.
After his little figure was no longer visible down the hall, she turned her attention to the paper she held in her hand, one of many... 'Portraits of Apologies' as she liked to call them. In this, it showed a sun with a beaming smile (labelled 'Mummy') hidden by grey clouds that had raindrops falling from them. Below the small drawing, he'd tried to write, and the apparent improvement in his penmanship caused her smile to return as she read the words;
Mummy is my sunshine,
And when I do something that makes her sad,
It's like a rain loud covers her sun and starts to let the raindrops fall,
That makes me sad too, and I'm sorry to make you sad, Mummy
Because suns shouldn't be hidden by rain clouds.
They should be there, all the time,
Shining bright and making everyone who sees them smile too.
She sighed as she wandered down the hall to her room, adding Jessie's latest artwork to the collection of 'apology portraits' she had already. "Another one for the collection," she said with a smile. "Such a beautiful little boy I have."
She stood looking after her son, seemingly frozen in place with her mouth slightly agape. "J..." was the last sound to escape her lips before he had gone from hearing distance. She always tried, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that once he had an idea in his head, her son was set. He could be a very driven little boy when he wanted to be, and when he set his mind to something, it sometimes seemed his sole focus right up until the task's completion.
Sure enough, as she had come to expect, her son returned to her hours later, his hands clasped behind his back, a sorrow filled, regretful expression filling his small features. "Mummy," he said in a whisper. "I'm sorry if I made you sad."
"Jessie," she said, her soft tone matching his to an extent. "It's ok Sweetie. You don 't have to apologise for every little mistake you make. Especially not with me. Just keep them in mind so you don't make the same mistakes next time."
Solemnly, her little boy nodded, his expression turning serious as his eyes remained fixed on hers.
"Yes Mummy," he said, holding a piece of paper out toward her. "I made you this, to say sorry." As soon as she took the paper from him, his hands were once again behind his back as he turned and walked away, presumably back to his room.
After his little figure was no longer visible down the hall, she turned her attention to the paper she held in her hand, one of many... 'Portraits of Apologies' as she liked to call them. In this, it showed a sun with a beaming smile (labelled 'Mummy') hidden by grey clouds that had raindrops falling from them. Below the small drawing, he'd tried to write, and the apparent improvement in his penmanship caused her smile to return as she read the words;
Mummy is my sunshine,
And when I do something that makes her sad,
It's like a rain loud covers her sun and starts to let the raindrops fall,
That makes me sad too, and I'm sorry to make you sad, Mummy
Because suns shouldn't be hidden by rain clouds.
They should be there, all the time,
Shining bright and making everyone who sees them smile too.
She sighed as she wandered down the hall to her room, adding Jessie's latest artwork to the collection of 'apology portraits' she had already. "Another one for the collection," she said with a smile. "Such a beautiful little boy I have."
Friday, March 13, 2015
Sun Comes Shining Through
At first, he gazed unseeingly at the endless sea of blue before him. The deep blue of the rhythmically lapping ice cold waters and the vibrant pale blue of the sky overhead, dotted here and there with fluffy clouds, the very colour of pearls. Though the sun beating down should have warmed him, he shivered still, for the cracks in his heart still felt like piercing icicles, stabbing repetitively at already open, gaping wounds.
He had been so lost in his own mindless little dreamworld that he'd completely lost track of the time. Suddenly, he blinked, shaking his head like a wet dog trying to dry off. He blinked again with a sharp intake of breath as the sight before him made a connection with his mind. He allowed gravity to pull him back down on to the park bench as a lone tear traced a quickening path from his eye. Finally, his eyes moved, turning up toward the sky. "Everything happens for a reason," he managed to say in a whisper, touching his fingers to his throat, trying to feel for the lump that seemed to be lodged there. His gaze drifted to the increasing number of clouds rolling in overhead, darkening in shades till they were more black than white. "But I'm still looking for the reason, for the silver lining in the cloud."
As the rain began to fall with increasing heaviness, he sat motionlessly, slowly growing saturated as he looked up at it. Again, he became lost in his own mind, returning only to reality at the sudden sensation of something touching his skin, making him jump. Slowly, he looked round to see a pale hand on his shoulder. His eyes traced a path up from the hand, to their arm, shoulder, and finally, at their smiling, kind eyed face.
"You looked like you could use some shelter," said the woman, holding her umbrella a little closer.
"Thank you," he said, rising to his feet with a slight wince at the effort.
"Shall we go find somewhere a little... less wet?" She asked hopefully. "I mean, it's beautiful here, but..." She gestured upward at the sky, and the rain still falling down.
"Sure," he said, smiling as he exhaled slowly.
He glanced at her before looking out the window. "I did think that that was reflective of how I felt," he said.
She reached across the table for his hand and he met her eyes once more as she spoke, "and now?"
"Now," he said slowly, "now the sun is starting to shine through the clouds."
He had been so lost in his own mindless little dreamworld that he'd completely lost track of the time. Suddenly, he blinked, shaking his head like a wet dog trying to dry off. He blinked again with a sharp intake of breath as the sight before him made a connection with his mind. He allowed gravity to pull him back down on to the park bench as a lone tear traced a quickening path from his eye. Finally, his eyes moved, turning up toward the sky. "Everything happens for a reason," he managed to say in a whisper, touching his fingers to his throat, trying to feel for the lump that seemed to be lodged there. His gaze drifted to the increasing number of clouds rolling in overhead, darkening in shades till they were more black than white. "But I'm still looking for the reason, for the silver lining in the cloud."
As the rain began to fall with increasing heaviness, he sat motionlessly, slowly growing saturated as he looked up at it. Again, he became lost in his own mind, returning only to reality at the sudden sensation of something touching his skin, making him jump. Slowly, he looked round to see a pale hand on his shoulder. His eyes traced a path up from the hand, to their arm, shoulder, and finally, at their smiling, kind eyed face.
"You looked like you could use some shelter," said the woman, holding her umbrella a little closer.
"Thank you," he said, rising to his feet with a slight wince at the effort.
"Shall we go find somewhere a little... less wet?" She asked hopefully. "I mean, it's beautiful here, but..." She gestured upward at the sky, and the rain still falling down.
"Sure," he said, smiling as he exhaled slowly.
He glanced at her before looking out the window. "I did think that that was reflective of how I felt," he said.
She reached across the table for his hand and he met her eyes once more as she spoke, "and now?"
"Now," he said slowly, "now the sun is starting to shine through the clouds."
Thursday, March 5, 2015
If You Want To Try and Change The World
She followed the gaze of her friend to see themselves in the mirror, her friend in full profile and her lingering behind.
"Hey," she said gently at the sudden tears rolling down her friend's cheeks. "What's wrong?"
"I don't like myself, or the way I look," said her friend in a whisper. "I've tried. I've tried to accept it. But... But I just... can't."
"Who cares what you look like?" she said.
"I do Hallie!"
"Well, yes, ok," said Hallie, "but that shouldn't matter. What should matter is what's in here." She touched a hand to her chest, and her friend smiled. "In here is what really counts. And in here, you're as stunning as a supermodel is on the outside. But for all we know, the supermodel could be as ugly as on the inside."
"Thanks Hallie," said her friend, finally turning to face her. "Why can't everyone be like you?"
"I don't know. I wish they could be. The world would be a much better place then, hey?"
"Why don't you like yourself, Mel?" Hallie asked.
"Look at all these marks on my arms," said Mel, glancing at herself in the mirror once again. Lightly, Hallie brushed her fingertips along her friend's forearm before stepping back a little, meeting Mel's eyes in the mirror. "Those scars..."
"Are ugly." Mel cut in before Hallie could finish, frowning as she squinted her eyes, stepping closer to the mirror as if these two things, done in combination would magnify her view.
"No," said Hallie, gently yet firmly holding her friend's gaze. "I was going to say that those scars, they could be ugly. You could choose to think of them that way, or, they could be reminders."
Finally, Mel's gaze rose from the floor to meet Hallie's eyes in the mirror. "Reminders?"
"Reminders of your past. Reminders so that you don't make the same mistakes over again."
"That's clever," Mel said, a smile cracking her slightly down turned lips.
"It's a way of embracing it," Hallie said simply. "You say that it would be great if everyone could be like me, right? With the rosy coloured vision of the world? The not caring about people's outer appearances, but rather, what's on the inside?" Mel nodded. "This could be a first step in it. I think that the first step in changing the world is trying to alter our own perceptions."
Mel shrugged. "That's all you can do really, isn't it?"
Then, it was Hallie's turn to nod. "The best way to change the world, if that's what you want to try and do, is to lead by example. Focus on you, because that's the only thing you can control."
"Everyone needs to be more like you, Hallie."
"No, because that would take away their uniqueness if they were exactly the same as me."
"If we all had your positive outlook, the world would be nicer."
"Maybe," said Hallie, exhaling lightly, "but Mel, you've got to focus on yourself first, before you even think about trying to lead by example."
"How do I do that?"
"We've got to get you liking yourself," said Hallie. "Work on believing those scars are reminders of the mistakes you've made, still there so you remember not to make those same mistakes again."
"Right," said Mel. "Reminders..."
"Hey," she said gently at the sudden tears rolling down her friend's cheeks. "What's wrong?"
"I don't like myself, or the way I look," said her friend in a whisper. "I've tried. I've tried to accept it. But... But I just... can't."
"Who cares what you look like?" she said.
"I do Hallie!"
"Well, yes, ok," said Hallie, "but that shouldn't matter. What should matter is what's in here." She touched a hand to her chest, and her friend smiled. "In here is what really counts. And in here, you're as stunning as a supermodel is on the outside. But for all we know, the supermodel could be as ugly as on the inside."
"Thanks Hallie," said her friend, finally turning to face her. "Why can't everyone be like you?"
"I don't know. I wish they could be. The world would be a much better place then, hey?"
"Why don't you like yourself, Mel?" Hallie asked.
"Look at all these marks on my arms," said Mel, glancing at herself in the mirror once again. Lightly, Hallie brushed her fingertips along her friend's forearm before stepping back a little, meeting Mel's eyes in the mirror. "Those scars..."
"Are ugly." Mel cut in before Hallie could finish, frowning as she squinted her eyes, stepping closer to the mirror as if these two things, done in combination would magnify her view.
"No," said Hallie, gently yet firmly holding her friend's gaze. "I was going to say that those scars, they could be ugly. You could choose to think of them that way, or, they could be reminders."
Finally, Mel's gaze rose from the floor to meet Hallie's eyes in the mirror. "Reminders?"
"Reminders of your past. Reminders so that you don't make the same mistakes over again."
"That's clever," Mel said, a smile cracking her slightly down turned lips.
"It's a way of embracing it," Hallie said simply. "You say that it would be great if everyone could be like me, right? With the rosy coloured vision of the world? The not caring about people's outer appearances, but rather, what's on the inside?" Mel nodded. "This could be a first step in it. I think that the first step in changing the world is trying to alter our own perceptions."
Mel shrugged. "That's all you can do really, isn't it?"
Then, it was Hallie's turn to nod. "The best way to change the world, if that's what you want to try and do, is to lead by example. Focus on you, because that's the only thing you can control."
"Everyone needs to be more like you, Hallie."
"No, because that would take away their uniqueness if they were exactly the same as me."
"If we all had your positive outlook, the world would be nicer."
"Maybe," said Hallie, exhaling lightly, "but Mel, you've got to focus on yourself first, before you even think about trying to lead by example."
"How do I do that?"
"We've got to get you liking yourself," said Hallie. "Work on believing those scars are reminders of the mistakes you've made, still there so you remember not to make those same mistakes again."
"Right," said Mel. "Reminders..."
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