One Day, In The Time of Sakura

 I wish I could come to Japan. In my mind I'm already there, leaving my body behind at my computer. So maybe what I really want is for my physical being to catch up to my imagination.
I know, comes my friend’s reply. I wish we could really meet. Be in the same place. Maybe one day we will
Me too. I hope so. “More than anything.” I can't help the heavy sigh as my dreaming mind jolts back into my head. I hear my sister's frustrated groans, and the ache of wistful longing grows.
 
If I were there, with you, I keep typing to my friend, I'd be free. It wouldn't be like here. Here it feels like I'm in a cage sometimes. A message has been sent before I really have a chance to think about it, my mind having drifted off again to preferable fantasies.
I see the dots dance and flash rhythmically while my friend types on the other side of the screen. One day, Chō Hana, when it is the time of the Sakura. It is so beautiful then.
Their words send me off down another dreamy vision. I imagine the two of us, walking down a path lined with beautiful pale pink cherry blossoms, all in bloom. The sun is shining and the air is warm. When is Sakura?
 Around March, April. Comes their reply. April is the best time though.
 
I feel pleasant warmth start to bloom within me, rising upwards. It seems to take with it the usual tightness that rests on my chest. My brain, meanwhile, has raced on ahead. April. There's potential for that to be in the next set of school holidays. I could actually go! This dream that we've been dreaming about could finally be reality!   
 
The sound of my sister’s cries sends a rock thumping back into place over my heart. I wish, is all I can think to say to my friend. I know that no matter how much I want to, I can't go. I can't leave her. Not when she needs me. 
One day, Chō Hana. One day. I have faith.
I can't wait, I say, allowing myself to indulge in imagination again. It's going to be wonderful. I won't be a problem there, with you. I'll be free.
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Author's note: There are a few Japanese words in this story. Roughly translated, they are: 
 Sakura- Cherry Blossom 
Chō- Butterfly 
Hana- Flower

My Little Fish Friend

 Just like always when I walk into my bedroom, my little fish friend is there waiting for me, swimming around in his tank. Just like always, it makes me smile to see him. “I’m glad I’ve got you.”
He swims closer to where I settle, on a plush chair near his tank. “You’re a good friend. You’re always here for me.” I shift my gaze to look from one side of his tank to the other. “Not that you have much of a choice.” I can’t help chuckling. Once the laughter dissipates, I shrug. “But you are still here. That’s more than I can say for many.” My breath is hot as it falls from my mouth. I blink at the prickle in my eyes. I know there are tears there, but I also know that that's where they'll stay. I can't ever seem to make them fall.
 
I refocus my gaze on my little fish friend, who has been watching me this whole time. He blinks back at me.
“I suppose that you can't really cry either, can you?”
He opens and closes his mouth a few times, though only bubbles escape.
I watch as they float upwards, toward the surface.
“I wish I could speak fish, so I could understand what you're trying to tell me right now.” My breath catches in my throat as I go to inhale.
 
“But it's worse for you, huh?” I say after a while, leaning closer to where he bobs in place. “You can't cry, but you don't have a voice either.” I touch my fingers slightly to my throat, feeling the lump that's starting to form there, about the same place my breath caught. It's painfully rock hard. “Sometimes, I lose my voice too.”
My little fish friend’s big eyes are steady on me as I talk.
“Usually in the worst times when I need my voice the most is when it escapes me, and I just clam up. It’s like my mind is a tank that I'm trapped in…” I stop, allowing my eyes to wonder once again over his tank. “Sorry. That was a bad analogy.” I let out a long, hot breath. “But that's the thing. You get me. In a way that no one else seems to, you understand.” My smile returns and grows a little bigger as I look at him, still next to me. Or as close as he can get. “I’m glad I've got you, my little fish friend.”