On Hold

“Hey Freema.” She smiled when her friend’s face appeared on her screen. She couldn't help it. Seeing her friend always made her feel great, but today more than usual. “It’s good to see you again. Like actually see you. Because I don’t think I have. Not since…”
“I’ve lost track of how long…” Freema said.
“January. It was January.”
“Wow. That was months ago.” Freema shook her head. “Jaicey, I can’t believe your memory.”
Jaicey shrugged.
“It’s good to see you, too.” Freema grinned back. “How are you going?”
“Yeah... I’m alright. I miss you, though.”
“Miss me? Jaice, we talk all the time. We’re talking right now.”
“I know. It’s just... it’s not the same. Actually seeing you and being with you is a whole other thing. This... This is good. Don’t take this as me not being grateful, because I am. This is a thousand times better than nothing. But it’s… it’s just not the same, Freema.”
“We’ll hang out again soon.”
“I know. But who knows when that’ll be?”
“Waiting will just makes it sweeter when it finally does come.”
“Yeah. I suppose you’re right.” Jaicey sighed. “I’m just... I’m sick of not being able to be with anyone other than my Mum. I’m sick of everything being on hold.”

Freema’s face softened. “I kind of like it though. I mean, my house is a little quiet for once.”
Jaicey couldn’t help but laugh. She hadn't actually been to Freema's, yet, but she'd heard a lot of stories about how Freema's huge extended family would show up unannounced all the time. It's like a constant party, Freema had told her once. And it gets really tiring.
“No one can come over. It’s just my immediate family here and that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still noisy. But not anywhere near as much as it usually is.”
“I guess it would be nice to have a break from the normal craziness of things.” Jaicey took a breath. “But I don’t know, Free. I feel like too much of any good thing can stop feeling good when you have too much of it. I.. I feel like I’ve had a good break, and now I want to get back into it. Except I can't.”
“Get back into what? School hasn’t stopped.”
"Yeah, but are we actually going to get to graduate?"
Freema's shoulders slumped in defeat. "We'll still finish," she said. "We might not get the ceremony, but we'll still finish."
"I suppose." Jaicey sighed. "I don't know... It's just... We've worked toward this for so long. It'd be nice to celebrate it being all over."
"We still can," Freema said. "We might just have to wait a while."
"Which will make it better and sweeter." Jaicey finished.
Freema nodded. "Yeah. We've just got to wait it out a bit."

"I know." Jaicey said, feeling something like a small child. "We're all waiting. But I'm sick of waiting."
"Everyone is waiting, Jaicey." Freema pointed out. "What is it that you're tired of waiting for?"
"Life,” Jaicey said. “It feels like this thing has stolen away all the good in it. Like, I can still go get needles for vaccinations and stuff-"
"That's necessary," Freema interjected.
Jaicey's gaze fell while she nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I know," she whispered.  "But it doesn't feel like I’m allowed to do anything good. Like going to the movies, or the theatre. Like seeing you.” She sighed. "That's what I miss. More than anything. Because those are the things that help me feel better when I don't feel good at all. Like now."
“Jaice, I promise you. You’re going to be longing for this time when life starts up again. For the slowness and the chill. Trust me.”
Jaicey shrugged, not entirely convinced. “Maybe.”
“This will end, Jaicey. I promise you it will.” Freema’s eyes searched her friend’s, perhaps for a hint of agreement. “For now, just try and make the most of it.”
"I'm trying," Jaicey said, voice heavy. "I just.. I feel like I'm losing time."
Freema nodded, and Jaicey felt her breath catch in her throat. Was her friend finally starting to understand?
"We're all losing time, Jaicey." Freema's voice was soft. "If you want to put it that way. We can't help the fact that the whole world is kind of on hold right now. We can't help that we have no control over the fact that the big giant pause button has been hit on life. What we can do is use the time to our advantage. We can use this time to do the things we've always wanted, to chase after the dreams we've always wished would come true."
Jaicey released a breath when her eyes rose to meet her friend's gaze.
"You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that we only lose time if we waste it on things that don't matter." Freema said, spirited. "So take this time to figure out what does matter so you don't lose time on things that don't."
"You matter." Jaicey spoke up in a small voice.
"So do you, my friend." Freema's smile widened slightly. "But I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere, Jaicey. We've still got each other. We're in this together."
Jaicey nodded.
"So, focus on that," Freema said. "Focus on what you do have rather than lamenting everything you don't."
"I'll try," Jaicey said solemnly. "I promise I'll try."