Here With Me

You never leave my mind. So much of you is left behind...

I need you to know, I'm with you. Right beside you. You're not alone right now. I'm not really gone, you've got to go on...

Sitting mere metres from his beloved, he reached out to touch her. But she could not see him sitting there beside her. She didn't know he was there. Still, he looked at her. Could not look away, though it broke his heart to see her this way. He wished there was something, anything he could do. He was there. Right there. But she didn't know... 

His face lit up with a sad smile as she reached out to touch him. "It's almost like you're with me," she said. 

I am, my Darling. I'm right here. Right here with you. I just wish you could see... 

"I wish you could be here with me." He moved to touch her arm, but it fell straight through hers. He did not have a physical form anymore. He could no longer touch her. She turned away from him, and sat in silence a while. "I can't believe this," she said, beginning to pace. "I don't want to believe this. Don't want to believe that you're gone." 

But you've got to go on...

"I know I have to go on. I know that I have to let go. But, I just can't accept it yet." She paused in her tracks and retook her place on the lounge beside him. His smile, small and sad, went unseen. She let out a heavy breath. "I want to believe. More than anything, I want to believe that you're still here with me, but I know I have to let go of the life I'll never know." She smiled in his direction, as if she knew he was there. "I know that I have to go on, hard is it may be. My heart is broken, it keeps breaking every day. But, come what may, nothing stops another day." 

I want you to know I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave you. You're not alone. I will always be 
here for you. I will not leave you alone, my Darling. You will never be alone. 

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In loving memory of my Great Aunt, who passed away early this morning. RIP. 

Piece of Me

One foot in front of the other. Just one more step. This is what I've been telling myself. For who knows how long. But, as I round the same corner for the hundredth time, I stop, leaning back in my haunches as I gasp exhaustedly for breath. It is only now that I realise that I must give in. That I must finally admit what I have been trying to deny for so long now. That I am lost. So utterly, completely and totally lost.

We entered this maze together, you and I. Now, here I am, walking endless circles without you by my side. To lead us. To guide us.  You disappeared and left me here, all alone. You weren't supposed to leave me here, you know. You weren't supposed to go. I wasn't ready. I'm still not ready. I don't think I ever will be ready to let you go. To say goodbye.

I long for you to return to me, dear friend. To be by my side again. I need you here with me, for I am so lost, so alone, without you. I have tried, so hard, to walk this maze alone. But every new path looks the same. I turn a corner, to find nothing novel there. Everything blends in. You, my friend were special. You could tell things apart. You knew where we'd been, where we were and where we were going.

I've lost all of that now. Like you, there one moment, and gone the next. And when you did go, you took a piece of me away with you too. A vital piece it would seem. Like a fair chunk of my heart. Because, nothing's been the same since.

I stand here, wishing there is something I could do. But, I am helpless. With you, and that piece of me gone, there's nothing left but to learn to live again. It seems impossible from where I am, but... it is possible, I think. People do live without parts of their hearts. At least, I think they do. I hope they do. Because, that's the future I'm facing.

But, even if I live to tell the tale of a stolen piece of my heart, a stolen piece of me, I will always love you. I will always miss you. Though, I hope that one day, maybe, I might be able to live again. That I might find the exit from this endless maze and find a life beyond this. And I hope, for you, that it's wonderful wherever you are. I hope you can be happy. I hope you are able to have the life you have always deserved. But, more than anything, I hope against hope that I'll see you again, someday very, very soon.