I'm Glad You're Still Here

I shake my head at what I'm hearing. I certainly understand why., but... If I'm honest, I've probably been there too, but.. I shake my head again, blinking as I look around me. I feel so sorry that such awful things had to happen to such wonderful, non-deserving people and I can't help but wish, and to wonder why I wasn't there earlier. Why couldn't I have been there to show them someone was still there? Why couldn't I have just been there, full stop?

I shake my head as I try to rid my mind of the onslaught of thoughts. This shouldn't be about me, but the thoughts keep rushing. They're screaming, demanding to be heard. As if it had actually happened, like they'd gone through with it, all the thoughts seem to be why. Why didn't I know them earlier? Why couldn't I have been there to show them they weren't alone? Why couldn't I have done something? Anything, to help?

As the conversation continues to flow in the room, I slowly come back from my own world of thoughts and sit quietly listening as my mind finally comes to a conclusion of sorts.  "Can I... Can I just say something?" I ask after a while of silence. My voice is almost a whisper with the shock of the earlier confessions as everyone turns to look at me. "I.. I'm glad you're still here."
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If you're having a hard time, or you're worried about a friend or family member, help is available. You can go to headspace.org.au or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.