Goodbye

You never know what tomorrow will bring. One moment, everything is fine, and the next, the world has turned upside down. In an instant, everything can change. You were there one moment, and the next, everything was different. You were still there, but you weren't really. Your spirit had escaped you. But it gave us time. Time to hold your hand. Time to give you just one more hug. Time to say goodbye.

Goodbye. The hardest word in the world. You don't want to say it, but you know you need to. You know that it's time. But goodbye... it's so final. So... unfitting. It doesn't contain everything they are to you, everything you love, how much you love. It's just a word. But to say it feels like admitting the end, and who wants it to be the end? Who wants to say goodbye?

We all sit around, sharing stories, laughing about all the times we've shared. We look over and see you there and a smile appears across our lips as a tear falls down from our eyes. How we all want more than anything in the world... how we all wish that we could just go back. Back to when all of this seemed like a horrible nightmare that would never come to be. Back to when you were here. Really here. Laughing and joking and sharing stories with all of us. Back to when the end didn't seem so close. Back to when goodbye didn't seem so soon.

So we sit, we hold your hand and we tell you we love you. We tell you everything you've meant to us. We tell you everything we've ever wanted to tell you. We tell you about all the good times. Then we whisper in your ear, and we say that awful word. We give your hand one final squeeze as the last breath of air leaves your lungs. We close our eyes, wishing we could wake up. Then we look at you. We kiss your forehead and squeeze your hand again. We whisper one last 'I love you'. We gather every last ounce of courage we have and we get up to go. We pause at the door, looking back at you one last time. Then we leave you to rest in peace.

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For Rob. Loved always.