One In A Million

 Taking in the sight of my beautiful, sweet friend, pale and weak in bed, I shake my head. "I was kinda afraid something like this would happen." 

"Huh?" My friend's voice emerges in a weak whisper from her lips. The only reason I can catch it is because of the otherwise pin drop quiet of the room. "What do you mean?" 

I cross the space between us to sit on the edge of her bed as she slowly shifts to a seated position. "Well, you give and give and give Maria." 

She opens her mouth to speak, but I keep going before she has the chance. 

"You can't keep giving to others unless there are others giving back to you as well." 

Tension tightens my chest as tears well in Maria's eyes. "How'd you know?" 

"You're always so selfless; reaching out, connecting, checking on everyone. But then, you kind of stopped. You withdrew into yourself." 

"I was selfish." Maria summed. 

Without so much as a split second's pause, I shake my head emphatically. "No. You are anything but selfish Maria." 

She stares at me, seeming a little lost for words. 

  "It's ok to turn the attention on yourself. It's important, and sometimes, it's needed." 

"Really?" 

"Yes. You know how I said that you can't give out to others unless others are giving out to you?" 

She nods. "Well, you were giving out to yourself. No one else was giving to you when you desperately needed it, so you turned in and you gave to yourself." 

The tears that had appeared in Maria's eyes start to fall. "No one seems to notice. No one checks in and reaches out the way I do with everyone else." 

"I know." I reach out to brush her arm with my fingers. "I'm sorry. I could've been a better friend to you. The way you are for everyone else. You deserve that, Maria. You are more deserving than anyone I know." I pause, feeling my breath start to catch on the lump forming in my throat. The lump of sobs wanting to rise, then fall along with Maria's. Determinedly, I swallow hard and take her hand in mine instead, squeezing gently. "I will." I promise her. "At least, I'll try. I'll try to be just as good a friend as you always are." Silence falls between us, my words hanging in the air. 

"Because you are not a problem to be solved, Maria, despite what you may've been told." I keep going after a few minutes, surprising even myself. But every word feels right. Like something that desperately needs to be said. That desperately needs to be heard. So I push on. "You are one of the kindest, most caring and compassionate, most beautiful souls there are out there. You are one of the most special people to exist..." I stop at the expression on her face. "And I mean that in the best way," I add, causing her to relax. "You are a diamond among coal, Maria. You are truly one in a million." 

I stop again, a little for breath, but also because I want what I say next to stand out, and to stick. "Never ever for one moment think you are anything less than an absolute gift and a blessing."    

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This story continues the Bleeding Heart collection, which starts here.