This Little World, All Our Own

My hand sits outstretched in the space between us. I wish it was in theirs. Touched. Held close. But that's too great a risk. 

I'd like to be able to sit beside them and cuddle up tight. Lean in against them. Maybe have their head on my shoulder. Together. Closer. But that's a risk too. 

The only choice I seem to have, the  furthest I feel I can go, is to allow myself to get lost in the peridot green of their eyes, and their eyes in mine. Even that feels like a risk. But it's a risk we take. We can't take a step further. That's too much of a risk. But this, this we can do. To have no connection at all hurts too much. Even this feels painful. But we settle, because it's what we have. 

On the seat across from me, my beautiful partner sighs. I focus again on their eyes and scan them. Seeing me see them, a small smile cracks their straight lined lips. We both know. We both wish. I feel a renewed ache spread through my arm toward the arm outstretched on the seat between us and sigh in unified sympathy and sorrow.  

Stealing a glance at the driver in the front seat, my partner inhales, shaky but deep. Slowly but surely, their fingers inch their way toward mine. They settle their hand mere metres from mine. Close but not quite close enough. 

Our eyes lock on each other's again. There is a slither of comfort in our shared fantasy; a space that's just us. A world all our own. A place where we can get close without fear of judgement. Where we can be together without feeling any tension. A place where we get to be us. Really, truly us. 

My beautiful partner is this place, and I know I am theirs. Alone, together, we are there. Accompanied, together, like now, we imagine ourselves there. Always, we share and hold the daydream together. This wonderful space where there is no risk, no judgement and no tension. We also hold on to our silly little hope that one day, this will just be the world. Where anyone can be, no matter who they are, no matter who they love. People are just people, after all. And love is love. I know this, and they know this. All too well. There are many out there like us, who all know just as well as we do. But, there are others who have no idea. Those others are why my partner and I have this little world, all our own. This little world, all our own, that we can go to whenever we'd like. This little world, all our own, where we can just be. This little world, all our own, where we are free.